Writing Conferences: Why go?

The PNWA (Pacific Northwest Writers Association) annual conference is almost here again. The first year I attended the conference I mostly fumbled about in an overwhelmed stupor (probably with my mouth hanging open most of the time). There were so many agents, editors and other publishing guru’s present, and I could barely fathom how many writers had come out of the woodwork in my region. That many crazy people all gathered in one place can be a shock to the system. (We are all crazy, right? It isn’t just me? I mean, they even have mugs making fun of us. We have arrived.)

What really amazed me were all the opportunities to learn, to network, and to put my writing in front of other people, whether for a peer critique of my pitch or for the attempted wooing of an agent/publisher. By the time it was over, I understood that I wasn’t ready and neither was the book I was pitching, but it opened my eyes to many things I had been missing. There's a whole world of author networking opportunities out there, both in person and via social media. Unexpectedly, while I was attending that first conference, some of the discussions also opened the door for a new book idea to sneak up and bludgeon me over the head (but that’s a different blog post).

By year two, I was ready (or at least much more so than before). I had a new book (see above) ready to pitch to agents. I was prepared to start talking, not just to the people I was pitching to, but to other attendees and anyone else who would let me chat them up. This led to some fantastic conversations with people in the book world and at least one great new friend.

I also knew going in how much information I could glean from attending the right sessions. As authors, we should always be looking to learn more about our industry and, more importantly, about improving our craft (you can never be too good at what you do). Many presenters are wellsprings of information. Be willing to ask questions (preferably questions that benefit everyone in the session). Gather the information. Compile it. Find the gems that will serve you best.

This year will be different for me. My agent will be there, so I’ll get to meet her in person, which is very cool. I’m looking forward to this new experience without the stress of pitching where I can really focus on networking and soaking up knowledge.

Conferences can be expensive, but they are an investment in your writing career regardless of what route you plan to take to publishing. Meeting agents and editors in person can also get you past the dreaded slush pile if that's your chosen path. If you can swing it, take advantage of the opportunities and give yourself a little boost. In my honest opinion, it's worth it.

Have you attended any conferences? Why or why not? What are some of the things that made it worthwhile (or not) for you?

An Agent and Geeky Goodness.

Last Monday, I am happy to say, I accepted an offer of representation from Emily Keyes at L. Perkins Agency. There are many great things about this, not the least of which is the time I can now spend writing that I previously spent researching and submitting to agents and editors. There were also the excellent announcements on Twitter.

and

I've already gained some unexpected perks from this relationship. Thanks to this tweet by my agent

I discovered QMx and now I have this on my desk

and this on my living room mantle.

(Yes, the wall is unfinished. My life is a work in progress. Did you really expect the house to be any different?)

The statue of Wash led to this brief and excellent twitter exchange.

I don't know yet how Emily will work out as my agent. We haven't been working together long enough to say. I can tell you that she is pretty awesome as a person and I look forward to working with her.

In the words of the lovely Kristen Lamb, We Are Not Alone, and that, my friends, is pretty cool.

Happy living!

Any Firefly fans out there? Any closet geeks? I would love to hear from you!

Basking in the Sunshine

This has been a crazy month. I’ve been traveling with family and have suffered from a heinous cold turned sinus infection, but I’ll get into that more later in my One New Thing post for June. I’ve also picked up a literary agent, but I’ll go into that more in my upcoming post about how I got a literary agent. This post is just a little fluffy one about my nomination for the Sunshine Award from the wonderful writer Fabio Bueno, an award that is rather appropriate for this month so far in spite of the nasty illness. Thanks Fabio!

Here are the rules:

  • Include the award logo in the post.
  • Link back and thank those that nominated me.
  • Answer 10 random questions about myself and/or tell seven random facts.
  • Nominate 10 other bloggers and link them to the award in their comments section.

So here goes. More random information about me that you probably weren’t holding your breath for:

1. What’s one of your favorite books from childhood? Tailchaser’s Song by Tad Williams. To be honest, it’s been so long since I read it that I don’t even remember why I love this book. I just know that it’s one of those books I itch to read again every time I think about it.

2. What are you reading? I’m reading Fullmetal Alchemist book one by Hiromu Arakawa in Japanese. I loved the Fullmetal Alchemist anime series so I figured the manga would be a good first step into reading a book in Japanese. I’m also reading A Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi.

3. Which do you prefer, Facebook or Twitter? I’m honestly more of a twitter fan. I can get and give more information faster there, but I tend to interact more with my close friends on Facebook, so it's something of a draw.

4. Favorite thing to do in your free time? Video games or kayaking or horse riding or… well, lots of things.

5. Favorite season? I like most seasons for various reasons (how poetic), but living in Seattle predisposes me to summer because there is a bit less rain.

6. Favorite magazine? I don’t really read magazines much.

7. What is your favorite animal? Snow leopard. I'm a long-time supporter of the Snow Leopard Trust.

8. Favorite teacher (and why)? I had a number of great teachers, but I’d have to say that my sixth grade teacher, Mr. Johnson, was probably the best simply because he was the first to encourage me in my book writing.

9. What is your favorite number? Can I have three? I really like 3, 7, and 13.

10. Do you prefer reading short stories or novels? Novels. I pick up a short story now and then, but I like something longer that I can become deeply immersed in.

This time I’m going to break the rules and just say that I would love to hear from all of you. What is your favorite season, teacher, etc.? If you haven’t received the Sunshine Award and would like to, say so in the comments and I slip in a list with you on it.

Happy sunshine!

One New Thing: May 2012 - Visiting Diablo

For the game geeks out there, I'm not talking about the newly released Diablo III, but I will admit that a chunk of Memorial Day weekend was dedicated to that worthy pursuit. Sadly, my first hardcore character died at level 7. (Cue mournful violin music.)

Anyway, on to the one new thing. May was a rather crazy month (a theme that seems to be bleeding into June), so finding time to squeeze in a new experience was a challenge. However, my kayak was up to the task.

Yeah, that gorgeous thing in the foreground is my kayak. Because I name everything (not much of an exaggeration, actually), I have given my kayak the name Umi Tonbo (海蜻蛉) or Sea Dragonfly for those not versed in Japanese.

Umi and I and our partner in crime...

embarked on an exploration of Diablo Lake, a much underused and remarkably beautiful lake in the spectacular North Cascades. Unfortunately, everything went perfectly, which doesn't make for much of a story. No one capsized in the jade colored glacial waters and the weather was so fantastic we were able to play in the paddle-thru boat wash.

The full trip tallied up to almost 10 miles of paddling out to the dam (or as far as they would let us go)

and around other parts of the lake with a stop off at an island for lunch. All around, it was a fabulous way to kick off the Memorial Day weekend. What adventures have you had lately?

Playing: Missed Part 2

This post is a continuation of the story I put up in October of last year, Playing with Action Scenes. To get the full story, you'll have to jump back there. I hope to make this more of a regular feature going forward, but it is just me playing with a story I dreamed up. The level of polish isn't what I would send to a publisher, but I have three other books I'm trying to finish editing that I do intend to submit, so I apologize for any imperfections. With all that editing, I desperately needed to do a little creating. I hope you enjoy it. Cheers!

Missed Part 2

Asoka woke to pain. Her head pounded as if it lay under a blacksmith's hammer. Her shoulders screamed and her wrists ached within the tight binds that held them behind her back. The injured ribs throbbed, worse because she’d been left lying on that side. She opened her eyes slowly, or one of them anyway. The other was gummed shut.

She lay on the stone floor inside one of the tower arches. The stormer with the hazel eyes sat in a chair a few feet away binding a strip of cloth tightly around his thigh where her dagger had sunk in. Blood already stained the fabric. His helmet sat beside him, his long dark hair still neatly bound up. A dark blue tattoo on his temple marked him as Inan nobility, obligated to serve in The Divinity’s army for a paltry five years in exchange for lands of his own and a title.

Rage swept through her and she twisted her body around. The wound in his leg slowed his reaction and she kicked as he stood, striking home on the bloody bandage. He dropped to one knee, grabbing the wound with one hand as the other swung out, backhanding her in the jaw and knocking her head into the stone. Blackness swept over her again.

#

Something cold trickled over her face. An arm held her propped in a reclined sit. Fingers touched her cheek. Asoka turned her head, sinking her teeth into flesh. The stormer grunted and shoved her away. When she slammed into the stone this time, she curled forward, keeping her throbbing head out of harm’s way. Her ankles were also bound now.

“By Agar’s blood, don’t you ever stop?”

His shout lanced through her head and she moaned. Her one cooperative eye opened and snapped shut again against the bright flame of a torch.

“I was trying to clean the blood off so you could open that eye.”

She opened the one eye again, squinting in the light, and glared at him. He was sopping water from a puddle outside the edge of the tower arch and using it to rinse the fresh bite wound. When he finished, he bound the wound, using his teeth and free hand to pull the knot tight.

She spit away the taste of his blood. “The noble’s flesh is soft and foul,” she hissed.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re the one lying tied on the stone. A disgrace to your order.”

To the order, she was dead the moment she took the uniform and the horse and stole away into the night to seek vengeance. She snorted disdain then winced at the resulting pain in her ribs.

He shook his head. His pitying look made her blood boil and her skin burn.

“Do you want me to clean your face or not?”

“Touch my face and I’ll kill you.”

“Have it your way.” He threw the wet cloth at her and it slapped down heavy and cold on her chest.

She turned slowly, wary of her injuries, and let the cloth fall off. Her fingers itched to pick it up. It would be nice to open both eyes. Perhaps if she inched her way out into the rain.

“Who sent you?”

“I told you. No one.”

“You’re lying.”

She stared out at the pouring rain beyond the shelter of the arch. He moved quickly this time for someone with a knife wound in the thigh. His hand closed on the back of her collar, the ridges in the gauntlet pressing into her neck, and he dragged her out into the rain, dumping her in the shallow puddle. She curled onto her good side, letting the rain spatter on the blood gummed eyelashes and opening her lips to the trickle of fresh water. The stormer limped back under the arch.

Pummeling rain gradually rinsed the eye enough for her to open it, but it also saturated her armor, sinking through to the skin and showing no sign of letting up. She started to shiver more and more violently, a sinister chill sinking deep inside her, reaching for her core. The shivering made the pain in her side flare so that she could think of little else, at least until she began to feel numb. Her fingers and toes began to lose feeling. She would’t ask him to help her. Better to die of hypothermia.

#

“Tristan!” Tristan groaned, struggling up from a sticky fog of sleep into a cold, painful reality. Someone shook his shoulders.

“Agar’s blood! I thought you were dead. What happened here?”

Tristan opened his eyes to his brother’s face, silhouetted by the grey light of early morning. He turned to the side. Someone else lay nearby, a distinctly feminine figure dressed in black armor, her hands and ankles bound, her fine features softened by sleep and pale as snow. Too pale perhaps. Was she sleeping or…

“The rain stopped,” he muttered. His mouth was dry. The words came out thick and slow like cold molasses.

Jeygar grinned and offered a hand to help him up. Then he clapped him on the shoulder, nearly knocking him down again. “You defeated a Koteki assassin, Tristan. That’s one hell of an accomplishment.”

Tristan put a hand on Jeygar’s shoulder and leaned most of his weight into him. The injured leg didn’t want to support him and his bitten hand throbbed, not to mention the ach through his upper chest and shoulders from the impact of her saddle-cannon shot. He felt more like the defeated than the defeater.

“Course, I imagine the Divinity would have preferred that you'd taken her alive.”

Something twisted in Tristan’s chest when he looked down at the still figure. “Is she dead?”

Jeygar helped him to the chair. “She’s got a weak pulse. Looks like she spent most of the night in the rain. Probably inched her way out after you fell asleep in an effort to get away.”

Not exactly. Tristan stared at the woman. After several seconds, he caught the slight movement of her chest when she breathed.

“I doubt she’d make it halfway to the palace in her condition. Take my horse and get your wounds seen to. Send someone back with him once you get there and I’ll continue on foot for now. I doubt I’ll find anyone alive in the other towers if she made it this far.”

Tristan moved his gaze from the woman, the assassin, to the sturdy gelding now itching its face on one foreleg. “Give me your jacket.”

Jeygar tilted his head, giving him a puzzled look. “It’ll be too tight for you in the shoulders.”

“Give it to me.” Tristan shoved a hand out in demand.

Jeygar shrugged the jacket off and handed it over.

Tristan got to his feet and began to limp out of the tower arch, waving away his brother’s offer of assistance. He sank down gracelessly next to the woman and lay the coat down, rolling her gently onto it.

“I wouldn’t bother. She’s as good as dead.”

Tristan ignored him. He reached for the dagger at his hip. It wasn’t there. He had a fuzzy recollection of her kicking it from his hand. He reached down drew the one from his boot, using it to cut the ropes binding her hands and feet.

“Are you mad! She’s Koteki!”

Tristan scowled over his shoulder. “A nearly dead one. You said the Divinity would like her alive. I aim to get her there that way.”

“Why does it matter now?”

Yes. Why?

That was obvious, wasn’t it? “I never found out who hired her. If we can keep her alive, we’re far more likely to get the information out of her than out of the guild.”

Jeygar threw up his hands and turned away.

Tristan used the sleeves to tie the jacket around her. She packed some incredible power for such a slight thing. He lifted her, groaning with the pain in his leg. “Here, take her for a minute.”

Jeygar grumbled something under his breath, but he accepted the limp bundle in his arms and stood, still grumbling, while Tristan struggled painfully into the saddle. At his gesture, Jeygar passed the woman up, helping situate her in front of him on the saddle.

“I’ll send a rider back with your horse.”

Jeygar nodded once, his eyes pinched with irritation. “And I’d like my jacket back.”

Tristan clucked the horse, finding it near impossible to squeeze his legs with the knife wound. His head spun when the animal started moving. Wouldn’t it be just his luck to fall off now? The woman’s weight shifted as they moved into a trot pressing painfully on the injured leg.

He ground his teeth. Somehow, it seemed inevitable that he would suffer every moment she was with him.

Grokking the Me Complex

Just the other day I was at a writing meeting where an author whose books and stories are often categorized as erotica was going to speak and share her publishing experiences with us. The author seemed a little nervous (which passingly made me wonder if speaking to a group ever gets easy). There was a new woman in the group who, upon learning what the author’s genre was, became agitated and expressed how inappropriate she felt the topic was both in words and, more powerfully, with her tone and expression. I understand that we all have our differences and this woman was deeply religious so erotica was a poor fit. However, she also seemed either oblivious to or unconcerned by the effect her words were having on the author who had poured her heart and soul into the work now being publicly condemned and was looking on with a vaguely mortified expression. I found it hard to believe that someone could be so completely self-absorbed.

It got me to thinking about how we interact with people.

Thou Art God

This isn't a new idea and I borrow the phrase specifically from Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land. I think there is truth to this phrase in a sense. Thou Art God, as I choose to grok it, refers to a very basic fact of life. That is that you can only ever truly perceive the world around you through the filter of your own unique personal experiences. In that respect, each of us is the god of our world. We are the center of our own universe.

funny cat pictures - *DID YOU THINK YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE?*

With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

If not for the internet, I wouldn't have know that this was originally a quote from Voltaire, but I don’t mind in the least if you happen to remember it from Uncle Ben in Spiderman as I do. Regardless of its origin, the quote makes an important point that I think applies here. If we are the gods of our individual universes, then we each have a responsibility to that universe. At the very least, we should try to be aware of the effect our actions have on the people around us (and the rest of the world, but this isn't that conversation).

Don't get me wrong. I don't think we should tiptoe around each other (seriously folks, I think we’ve taken political correctness way too far). Offend people. Argue with people. Just be aware of the situation and don't be pointlessly cruel.

Now, let’s look at the original situation again. You go to a writers meeting. There is a guest speaker whose work delves into human sexuality. This goes against your personal morals. Do you:

    1. Scathingly express your disapproval of the subject with no regard for how your words might stab into the heart of the author (who was expressly invited to speak at the meeting) and then leave?
    2. Politely state that you aren’t comfortable with the subject and dismiss yourself?

I know, obviously A because I just told you that it’s your universe, right?

This is the primary reason I have a problem with zealots of any kind, religious, political, whatever. There simply isn’t room in their universe for people who think differently. They don’t allow for the uniqueness of each person’s life experiences and how those experiences have shaped them. They believe their way is the only way. I could be wrong, but I suspect they miss out on many great things because of this narrow view just as the woman at that meeting missed out on a chance to learn from the author's experiences and get to know someone who turned out to be quite a fantastic lady.

Interacting with Your Minions

Admittedly, you probably shouldn’t think of the other people in your world as minions, but it made me giggle so there it is.

funny pictures of cats with captions

Our differences are part of what makes human interaction so fun and interesting. We aren’t a bunch of robots with the same programming. If we were, it’d be a damned boring place (and author's would have little to write about). It doesn't take a lot of effort, however, to think before we speak. With a little awareness, we can determine if the venue is right and if what we are going to say is merely going to offend someone or if it might honestly hurt them.

I haven't got a problem with the woman being religious in this scenario. When I meet someone, I don't care about their race, religion, sexual orientation, or shoe size (though sometimes really tall people make me nervous). What I'm interested in is their attitude and how they interact with other people. If you're willing to talk down someone's life work in front of a group without having ever spoken to that person or seen their work, then I might use you as a character study for an antagonist in one of my novels, but I won't be asking you out for coffee.

In the end, it's rather simple. If you don't like someones views, don't hang with them. Alternatively, you could challenge them to a gentleman's bike joust and sell tickets, because that’d be pretty awesome.

How would you have handled the situation in the meeting? What similar situations have you been in or observed?

Spiders, the Versatile Blogger Award and Stupid Birds

Before I get into the Versatile Blogger Award, I want to clarify another rule for spiders overlooked in Talking with Spiders: The House Rules. This one applies to all of you, regardless of type. If you drop in on me while I am driving, you get what's coming to you. This is not as funny as you seem to think it is. Now to a different set of rules, because these awards always come with rules.

1. Thank the person who nominated me.

Thanks, Mike!

2. Include a link to his/her blog.

You can learn about Mike and read all his wonderful blog posts at Realms of Perilous Wonder.

3. Nominate fifteen blogs I enjoy and follow.

Fifteen! Really? *sigh* I suspect many of you will have already received this nomination, but here goes...

  1. Simon Poore
  2. The Baffled King Composing
  3. Cora Ramos Blog
  4. Sonia G Medeiros
  5. Wordbitches
  6. Tami Clayton
  7. Margaret Miller's Blog
  8. Gabriel Rumbaut's Blog
  9. Sharkbait Writes
  10. Neither Here nor There
  11. Dr. Shay Fabbro
  12. Elizabeth Fais
  13. Two Gallants
  14. Liv Rancourt
  15. Patricia Caviglia

And 4. Tell you seven things about myself.

I know, how exciting is that? I can sense your electric anticipation now.

1. Started writing my first book in the 6th grade after reading Birth of the Firebringer by Meredith Ann Pierce. It rambled and bounced all over the place. You couldn't dig out a cohesive plot if you read until your eyes bled, but it was delightfully creative. I still have it in one of my five briefcases full of hand written books and book ideas that sit in the corner of the loft.

2. I hate zucchini. My mom tried to make me eat it when I was little. I threw up on the table. I think that was the last time she tried to make me eat something I didn't like.

3. Last Halloween we had our second Steampunk themed Halloween party. The decorations are still up. This is not procrastination. This is a cunning plan to make it much easier to set up for the third one.

4. I've fought with a sword in heavy armor. Being hit in the head with a sword while wearing a metal helmet is not painful, but does seem to slow one down for a few seconds. The battle ended when I stepped back on the hem of my dress and fell flat on my back. I couldn't get up because the helmet was too heavy (and I was laughing too hard). Lessons learned:

    1. Just because the man on the other end of that sword claims to love you, it doesn't mean he won't try to beat the crap out of you.
    2. Don't wear a dress to a duel.

5. One place in life that I feel at peace is hanging on a rope in a cave above some long drop. Swallowed by darkness and listening to the drip of water or the occasional shift of rock as someone below or above waits. There is a sense of complete detachment from the rest of the world that is both humbling and revitalizing. I have found lesser degrees of this same peace sitting in my kayak on the ocean, riding my horse when we are working in harmony, and practicing iaido.

6. I am a music whore. I know, that doesn't sound very nice, but it's true. I love music. I can't get enough and I love discovering new music regardless of genre or language. I even have soundtracks in my dreams. It's like a thrilling big-screen movie every night in my head, only typically weirder.

7. I stole my mom’s socks. When I was unpacking from my visit, I found a pair of white socks in my suitcase. Since I forgot to pack socks, it was immediately apparent that these were not mine. Sorry, Mom. Unlike the good tweezers I stole when I first moved out of the house, I do actually intend to give the socks back when next I see you.

Lastly, a quick note to the bird that just ran into the picture window. That was the second stupidest thing you could do around here. The stupidest would be landing in the cat garden. I hope the impact didn't make you dumber because I hate finding bird parts in my house. Sleep it off and try a different trajectory next time.

Have any fun facts about yourself to share? I would love to hear them in the comments.

Happy living!

What's Missing in e-Books or Pizza without Black Olives

I’ve long begrudged the rising popularity of eBooks and e-Readers and have struggled with the exact reason why they evoke such a visceral reaction in me. For some time I’ve tried to explain it away with simply a love of print books or the desire to see my work in print, but it wasn’t until I stumbled upon this article, The Objects of Our Obsession: On the E vs. P Debate, that it suddenly hit me. An epiphany if you will. First and foremost, I greatly appreciate the many benefits of e-readers, such as their convenience for travel and that they make it easier for people like my grandma to continue reading books even though she needs larger font and can no longer hold a thick book comfortably due to arthritis. Bravo for those things and for the lack of dead trees required in the process of getting the books to consumers. (I have mixed feelings about the new age of publishing in which anyone can publish their novel as an e-book, but that's a different rant.)

Something that I’ve always understood about my dislike for e-readers is the missing sensory experience. It’s like eating pizza without black olives. You may not agree, but I think eating pizza without black olives is like eating greasy cardboard. Add black olives and it gains a burst of bright new flavor, turning it into a more engaging dining experience. Yum! Reading a paper book is similarly more engaging than reading an e-book. You get the tactile experience of feeling the paper between your fingers, the rustle of the pages turning, and the smell of ink and paper brought together in blissful harmony (or something like that). You get a full sensory experience beyond just the text you’re reading and I love that, but the lack of all that isn’t what really gets to me.

I think there is an amazing social experience that is becoming lost with the advent of e-readers. One of my favorite things about going to a friend’s house for the first time is seeing what books they have on their shelves. You can learn a lot about people from their books (and the creepy assassin armor they wear). A person's book collection is a great way to start up myriad conversations, comparing notes on books you’ve both read or discussing books you haven’t read that might interest you. It really is an immersive social experience and no, I don’t think sites like Goodreads can take the place of that. Seriously folks, we need to have a little in person interaction occasionally (also a different rant), which leads me to my next complaint.

I’ll admit that it’s cool being able download hundreds of books on your e-reader and have them waiting in queue for you (not that I ever expect to catch up with the print pile I have already). Shopping that way also saves you from the burden of leaving your self-inflicted isolation and actually interacting with real people in a real store (yes, that was sarcastic). However, in a world bursting with technology, reading a print book strikes me as a delicious way to escape the constant hum of electronics and the ever-present screens that fill our lives. It is a totally disconnected experience. I love that.

I know I’m dragging my feet on something that is inevitable and I too will probably have an e-reader someday, but not yet. Right now, I’d rather be Luddite as far as reading goes. I write my books on a screen. I prefer to read them on paper, thank you very much.

Happy reading!

Have you embraced the e-reading age? Why or why not?

Talking with Spiders: The House Rules

Arachnophobes beware. Here be spiders.

As the weather warms up and I see more and more of you eight-legged critters roaming the property, I am inclined to share the house rules with you here (although fully aware that you may not follow my blog even though you should). These rules are roughly broken up by spider type.

Jumping Spiders:

I’m sorry, but you are stinking cute as hell. Look at you with your fuzz and your oversized front legs. You look like tiny little body-builders and you have an attitude to boot. You may live wherever you please. However, if you live in the house, there are a few places off limits. Primarily, in my bed, on my bed, or above my bed. If I find you in one of these locations, I will relocate you to another place in the house or outside depending on the severity of the infraction, my mood, and the weather. (Apparently, showing up on someone’s face is also not an acceptable location.)

Crab Spiders:

Again, it's about attitude. You are a small spider with enough chutzpa to face me, brandishing those long forelegs at me in defense of your chosen rhododendron leaf as if you could somehow hope to take me down. Bravo. You are fierce little creatures. How could I not like you? That said, you look best outside in the gardens and, if found in the house, will be relocated to the nearest suitable bush.

Comb-footed or Cobweb Spiders:

I don’t want to see you. I grew up in Southern Oregon where the Black Widow is common. You are shaped like the Black Widow and, even though you are not poisonous and are often of a different color, you remind me of them. One of them bit my mom when I was younger so it's personal. I will probably ignore you outside. Inside, I might relocate you outside if I am in a particularly good mood, but you might also find yourself swirling down the whirlpool of death in the toilet. Best if you stay outside.

Funnel-Web and Wolf Spiders (and most other spiders not mentioned separately):

If you choose to enter the house, you either will meet the whirlpool of death or be thrown outside. What I do with you is dependent on many factors.

1. How aggressive you are. I will match your aggression. I am not willing to be bitten by you. You have been warned.

2. Where you show up. If you drop in from above, show up on my towel as I’m trying to dry off after a shower, or appear on the couch/bed, likely you won’t live to reach the whirlpool of death.

3. Your willingness to be captured in a cup. I will do this for you as a kindness to move you outside, but if you run from me, my generosity will wane and the whirlpool of death will start calling me.

If you are really huge and living in my barn, I will ignore you so long as you don’t come within range and act aggressive. If you are living on the ceiling of my barn, I will probably stare at you nervously as I clean the stalls, but you are out of reach. I advise you to stay there or, better yet, move to someone else’s barn.

Any Spider or Arachnid Referred to as Daddy Long-Legs (including Harvestmen):

You creep me out. Why? Because you look like little walking eight-legged skeletons. The walking dead of the spider world. Harmless though you may be, I beseech you, don’t come into the house. Just looking at you gives me the shivers. The whirlpool of death hungers for your undead flesh. Stay away.

Final Warning:

Be aware that there are cats in this house. They haven’t shown any distinct proclivity for arachnid flesh, but they are drawn to things that move about in tantalizing ways. You move in tantalizing ways. Their rules trump mine.

Happy crawling!

One New Thing: April 2012

Here we are again. It’s time to share my new experience for April. I got through most of the month without a real plan for this. Fortunately, I live in an amazing place full of adventures waiting to be had and my mom was in town, ready to be dragged around the countryside. A short ferry ride, can take you to any number of fantastic new places. This one took us to Orcas Island, one of the beautiful San Juan Islands that we hadn’t yet visited. From above, Orcas Island looks a bit like a clump of floating detritus that got wrapped around a tree (or two).

Since the ferry landing is on the bottom of the large left lobe, it is clearly necessary to drive around to the end of the large right lobe in order to maximize ones experience. 

Upon arriving on the island, we drove around to the city of Eastsound in the narrow middle section where the spotting of a bookstore inspired us to stop and have a look around. (Because that’s why you go to beautiful islands, isn’t it? To visit the little bookstores). In addition to the bookstore, there were a number of fun little art galleries and a nice place to pick up lunch by the water.

We continued around through Moran State Park toward Obstruction Pass and hunted down a beach, which is what you do when you’re surrounded on all sides by salt water. A nice rocky beach is great for strolling, poking at creepy looking dead crabs, and viewing gatherings of starfish.

Wet sand and pebbles are not the best, it turns out, for practicing iaido, but how could I resist. Since I'm used to doing this on hard floor with a bokken, trying to look smooth and flowing on the beach with a poorly balanced, waterlogged branch was a challenge, but I’ll swallow my pride and let you chuckle at my efforts. (For more on what iaido is, visit my One New Thing: March 2012 post.)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL6hHhKr2LM&w=560&h=315]

From there, we turned back and revisited Moran State Park, taking a side trip up to the top of Mt. Constitution where we discovered this lovely somewhat medieval looking Mt. Constitution Tower and some amazing views.

Happy adventuring!