Cliffhanger Blog Fest Entry

Brenda Drake's Cliffhanger Blogfest

Here's how it works. On your blog site, write a new scene or post a scene from your current project that is no more than 500 words, which has a rocking cliffhanger (pun intended). It can be any genre. Just leave us hanging, craving more, and cursing your name for making us want to turn a page that isn't there. Easy peasy, right? Right. 

Here is my entry from my alternate world romantic fantasy: Torment.

Indigo stared at the place Eldrian had been a moment ago.  With him there, even the beasts weren’t enough to drive her away.  With him gone, icy fingers of dread crept up her spine.  Now that she was alone, she wanted to be anywhere else.  In scant seconds, everything changed and all she had left of him were memories and a pair of boots.

Looking down at the oversized boots, she smiled wistfully.  Though she barely knew him, something about him simply fit her.  His arms felt like home more than any place she had ever been.  What did she really have to go back to?  Jayce would be a constant reminder of this exotic man who made her feel so vibrant.

Her pulse raced when she stepped close to the pillars, but the shimmer was gone.  He was gone, and she couldn’t follow.  In that moment, she knew she would have abandoned everything to go after him.  Placing a hand on either side of one pillar, she closed her eyes while she pressed her forehead against the rough gray stone.  If only…

The sound of movement behind her shattered her musings like so much glass and her heart bounded into her throat.  Turning, she saw what she most dreaded, one of the hounds ambling around the corner in the canyon.  She looked directly into those sightless eyes and sudden terror cluttered her thoughts.  Escape!  She had to escape this dead end.  If it got any closer, she would be trapped.

She bolted, running for the space between the beast and the far wall of the canyon passage, managing to dart past the thing.  It gave chase and she knew there was no way she could outrun it in shoes that didn’t fit.

Remembering Eldrian’s last words, she bit down hard on the healing split in her lip.  The sharp pain helped her remember the moment Jayce struck her, the surprise, the hurt, and the anger.  She remembered running away from him to the fountain in the Healer’s Courtyard.  The images and sensations rained down on her.  It became hard to breathe and she staggered.  Looking over her shoulder, she saw the beast lunge and she closed her eyes, yearning for her home more than she would have ever thought possible, yearning for Jayce, for anything but this.

Happy Suffering: The Shorter Novel

The cutting of my novel, Torment, is done (Torment is the working title - I'm still hunting for the right title, especially now that someone just released a YA novel of the same name).  My beta readers have all reviewed it now and I'm ready to start sending it out with a vengeance.

I have to admit that, while cutting 48,000 words and two viewpoints was one of the harder things I have done, it has proven to be one of the best things I could have done for this book.  Cutting almost 50,000 words sounds horrible and it wasn't easy, that I assure you.  However, what initially felt like a process of amputating organs turned out to be more like having several ugly warts removed.  While it was painful, the end product was a lot prettier.  My sincere thanks go out to the editor and the agent at the PNWA conference who told me to cut it as a prerequisite to submitting to them (you know who you are).

What was so great about cutting the book, you ask?

Well, there are a couple of answers to that question.

First, in having so much to cut, I really had to look at every single line of the story and determine the value it added.  It was through that process that I decided I could afford to cut two of the five viewpoints.  A few unexpected benefits came from cutting those viewpoints.

1)      My main character didn't have to share the limelight with so many people, which allowed her to keep a firm hold on her esteemed position as one of the single best characters I have ever written.

2)      The protagonists love interest took over several scenes that had previously belonged to another character.  Through these extra scenes, he developed into a more sympathetic character while retaining enough arrogance and emotional distance to be believable as a prince and military leader.

Secondly, I hacked away at scenes that didn't move the story, trying hard to keep the momentum going while not losing any of the character building.  Simply put, I had to learn a lot about pacing.  This also had some great benefits.

1)      It helped strengthened my primary antagonist, giving the character a more aggressive feel simply by tightening down his scenes.

2)      It taught me a lot about pacing in all my writing.  I have noticed that the first draft of the urban fantasy I am working on now (while I familiarize myself with the steampunk genre for the next project) has a much better sense of momentum than the first drafts of Torment did.

All around, I learned so much about writing and editing throughout this process that I believe I am a better writer because of it.

In the writing world, the learning never stops, nor should it.  Every time we, as writers, charge head on into a challenge, we get an opportunity to learn things that will help us to be the best we can at this.  That is worth every bit of pain and frustration we may suffer along the way.

Happy writing!

Just for Fun - Torment Deleted Scene

I thought it might be fun to do something a little different for this post.  This is a short scene I deleted from my novel Torment in my quest to cut 48,000 words.  This character's viewpoint was removed completely, which turned out to be a good choice because it ultimately made another of my major characters much stronger.  I did kind of enjoy this scene and thought it might be fun to share since it really doesn't require a lot of explanation.  It didn't go through the last run of edits, but I think it is clean enough for this purpose.  Enjoy!

     Adran walked into the room, shutting the door softly behind him.  In the rest of the stronghold, there was very little to remind one of the imperial palace in Yiroth.  Walking into Prince Yiloch’s chambers, however, was like stepping back into that distant place.  Varied shades of blue and gray dominated the decor, most with silver and ivory worked through.  The furniture was made of a pale wood, accented with silver inlay.  This one part of the stronghold attested to the prince’s longing for his old home.

     Running his fingers across the smooth top of a dresser, he grimaced at the thin film of dust.  He would send a servant in to clean the rooms.  They had to be kept tidy for Yiloch’s return.

     He sighed, his gaze running slowly over the chairs in the sitting area where he spent many an evening drinking wine and chatting with the missing prince.  The smell of the other man was growing stale in the rooms.

     Taking the prince’s sword from its stand, he sat on the bench at the foot of the bed and began to polish it lovingly.  Yiloch’s mother commissioned the blade for his fourteenth birthday.  A beautiful piece with ascard energy bound into the blade by its creators to keep it strong and finely edged.  Since his mother’s death, Yiloch cherished the blade as though her memory lived in its reflective surface.  He rarely went anywhere without its perfectly balanced weight hanging at his side.

     How long had the prince been gone now?  Had it been late summer or early fall when he disappeared?

     Adran shook his head.  Every day that passed, it became harder to hold things together.  They all wanted to see Yiloch take the throne, but he wasn’t here to lead them now.  No one knew where he was, only that he was gone.  For a time, the fact that there was no confirmation of his death was enough to keep things from crumbling.  The longer this went on, the more he heard whispers that the prince was dead and there was no reason to continue.  Allies were losing patience and searching for other options.  Few were interested in staying under Emperor Rylan’s rule.  Increased taxes and export restrictions stressed even the wealthiest of the nobility and the peasantry suffered the most, as they often did in times of strife.

     The door crept opened tentatively and Adran’s twin sister Eris peeked in.  As soon as her pale amber eyes spotted him, she entered, closing the door behind her, and walked over to sit beside him on the chaise.  He set the sword on the bed behind them.

     “I thought I would find you here,” she said.

     “Did you come with news or just to contemplate the silence with me?”

     She brushed a lock of dark blond hair behind her ear and chewed at her lower lip.

     “I wish it were the latter,” she said finally.  “News arrived from the capital.  Emperor Rylan had Prince Delsan executed.”

     That explained the glimmer of unshed tears in her eyes.  He had barely known the younger prince before following Yiloch into exile, tending to have little interaction with him because of Yiloch’s dislike for him.  Eris, on the other hand, had been more than a little friendly with Delsan, friendly enough that Rylan lectured his son more than once on the impurity of her blood.  It was a loathsome double standard from a man who sold off many pureblooded Lyran people overseas as slaves.

     Placing an arm around her shoulders, he squeezed her gently, hoping she could draw some comfort from the contact.

“Delsan should have come with us,” he said.

     The muscles in her shoulders tensed under his arm and he heard her teeth grind together.  “Did Yiloch even ask him?”

     He hesitated, considering the two princes.  Yiloch, like his father, considered Delsan an embarrassment.  The younger son was of a gentler nature than either of them, something they both considered an unforgivable flaw.  It was no wonder Yiloch and Rylan hated each other so much, they were far too similar.

     “Probably not,” he admitted reluctantly.

     Silence reigned.  Dust motes danced in the light shining through the many windows.  The glass here had been created with ascard to be free of flaws, and the light came in undistorted and bright, the clean light of a cool spring evening in the mountains.  It set the myriad silver details in the room to sparkling.

     “Is Yiloch going to return?”

     He squeezed her again and she melted against him this time.  The comfort he offered was comfort he yearned to feel for himself.  How long could he believe?  Every word of encouragement he gave now tasted of lies rolling off his tongue.  How long before the others saw through to that doubt?

     “He will,” Adran said firmly.  “He must.”

Editors, a Writer's Best Friends

Back in 1999 I submitted a novel to several publishers and agents without ultimately getting very far before I gave up.  Earlier this year I pulled that novel out again.  While I still think it has one of the best story ideas I have ever come up with, it shocked me to realize how much work it needed before it would be ready for submission.  In essence, it was an elaborate outline of a novel.  What really struck me was how much I had learned since writing it.

A lot of my learning has come from reading, both fiction and tons of articles and books on writing.  My jobs as a technical and content writer have also helped me polish my work, but the one of the most valuable tools in improving my writing has been the editors I’ve worked with.

I lump two different groups of people into the editor category.

First, and the most obvious, are the actual editors from publishing houses, magazines, and contests who have provided feedback on my work.  Although, at times, there have been comments that stung my pride, the value of a critique from a professional editor working in the industry is far greater than the cost of a slightly shrunken ego (something many of us can benefit from anyway).  I won’t take the time to list those whose feedback has influenced me the greatest, but I think of you all often and am grateful for the way you helped me grow in my skill as a writer and in developing a thicker skin.

I also offer a word of caution to the aspiring authors of the world.  Remember, professional editors are amazing resources for improving your work (if you can get them to comment), but they are also people.  If a professional editor suggests a stylistic change and you truly, in your heart, believe that what they suggest isn’t right for your story, stick to your guns.  While they do know their job, they also have personal preferences that will influence them.  Just because one editor doesn’t like your style doesn’t mean there won’t be one who does.

The second group of editors is a less formal set.  These are the people you know personally who are willing to read your work and give feedback (sometimes referred to as beta readers).  I am lucky to have a number of these individuals in my life who have sacrificed their time to help me chase my dream.  You all know that I adore you.

Not all willing readers are great editors, but they can be guided into it.  If you help people to understand what it is you need from them, they can become your most valuable assets in the journey to publication.  Some of the things I ask my readers to look for are places where the flow of the story is broken in some way, any contradictions in the plot, inconsistencies in characters and plot, the usual grammar and spelling errors, and a variety of other important items.  Avid readers tend to make very good beta readers as they are familiar with what the finished product needs to be whether they realize it or not.  As with professional editors, however, be aware that personal preference will come into play.

Probably the most important thing to remember when reviewing feedback from anyone is not to take it personally.  Even if the person isn’t the most tactful in their presentation, look beyond that to seek even the smallest gem of truth in their words that might help you improve your work.  What you will find is that every bit of advice you learn from will not only improve your current novel or story, it will help you make a more polished first draft for your next one because you will be more aware of the mistakes you tend to make.

Learn everything you can from the editors in your life.  Value their efforts and they will help you on the road to meeting your next best friend, your agent.

Writer’s Block: Too Many Ideas

Last night my dreams all took place in the world from my dark Science Fiction novel.  It's a novel I started writing a while back, but I realized by chapter thirteen that I was trying to turn the wrong character into the main character.  Being female, I have a soft spot for a strong woman protagonist.  However, the character with the most to lose and the greatest obstacles to overcome, the really interesting character in the story, is not the woman.  The male lead I was trying to relegate to a secondary role is the one the story is really about.  I stopped writing with the intention of sorting through what I had done so far to see what was salvageable and what was scrap.

That hasn’t happened yet.  Why?  Because my efforts have been focused on getting book one of my trilogy out the door to agents and editors.  I have done about six edits on the novel and, after the PNWA conference, I finally had to admit that it needed cutting to have a chance in this market (see How to Cut a Novel).  Now that the book is cut and my wonderful team of review readers is looking it over, I can focus on writing the next novel while I wait for their feedback.

On to writing the Science Fiction novel, right?  Wrong.  I have many ideas I’m very excited about working on and I find it hard to choose between them.  Even when I have chosen, I often second-guess myself throughout the tough process of getting a new work rolling.

The short list of ideas as I think of them:

• The Dark SciFi (started – needs reworking)
• The Steampunk (just started)
• The Urban Fantasy (plotted)
• The Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy (rough plot)
• The BS Book (The one my husband says is going to be my best-seller.  ;)  first draft done - rewrite)
• The Greek-Inspired Fantasy (half written – need to revisit plot for possible splitting as it is already getting too long)

That’s just scratching the surface of the ideas I’d like to bring to completion.  Starting something new and keeping my focus on it gets harder as the ideas pile up (and dreaming about an idea other than the one that I am working on shakes my confidence).  That said, I am currently trying to focus on the Steampunk novel because it and the Urban Fantasy seem to have the best chances in the current marketplace.  When I finally have the flow for the Steampunk going well enough that I can drop in and out of it with ease, I will resume rewriting the BS as well.

When my resolve falters, part of me just wants to curl up with my paranormal kitten and wait for someone to tell me what to do.  Another part keeps sneaking back to the trilogy because it is comfortable and familiar.  The trick, I suppose, is just to press on with the current story even when dreams and furry friends try to lead me to distraction.

I would love comments from anyone about similar problems they have or techniques they use to deal with this kind of thing.

Happy writing!

How to Cut a Novel

When I went to the PNWA conference, one editor and one agent who requested my work specifically asked me to cut it down to 100,000 words and several presenters supported that in their sessions.

I already knew my novel was too big. I was planning on cutting anyway, so this wasn't a real upset. I told them it was currently 138,000 words and shrinking.

Wait! What delusional part of my brain came up with that number? Try 148,000. Well, now I have to cut almost 50,000 words from the novel. Ouch! How do you cut almost a third of your novel? I don't know how everyone does it, but this is how I have gone about the process.

The absolute first thing I did was make a dated copy of the novel. Never make changes this big without first making a backup copy.

Next, I made the decision to cut two of the five viewpoints based primarily on something author Bob Mayer said in his novel writing session. So the first thing I did is figure out which chapters those two characters had viewpoints in. If there was another viewpoint character in the chapter, I gave the chapter to them, if not, I cut the chapter. Easy reduction, except... Well, I can honestly say that one of those two characters wasn't adding value to the novel. The other, I have discovered, is not so easy to lose. For now, I am leaving him out, but I do feel that he actually adds value to the story, so when I am done, I will be adding him back in to an alternate version (after cleaning up his scenes). I expect that to add about 10,000 words to the cut novel, which, if all goes well, will put that version at around 110,000 words.

My second step was to go through the entire novel and ruthlessly hack out any fluff. What do I consider fluff? Here are some examples: 

• Unnecessary words - often you can find a lot of the, had, ly words (like simply, mostly, etc.), and such that don't add anything to the value of the sentence. Cut them.
• Dialog tags – Here is a rather rough example:
      "I love you," John said while caressing her cheek with his fingertips.
      "I love you." John caressed her cheek with his fingertips.
  Keep just the action tags. That is more than enough to clarify who spoke. Also, if you have only two characters in a scene, you can go up to four lines of short conversation without any dialog or action tags as long as it is clear who spoke first.
• Extraneous explanations/descriptions - If you explain something, then show it through action shortly thereafter, get rid of the explanation. It slows the story down and is extraneous. Also, give your reader some credit. You shouldn't assume your reader destroyed their short-term memory with too much marijuana in high school. If you've described something in one scene, don't describe it again three chapters later unless something has changed or another character is seeing it in a different way.
• Dead scenes - Scenes that don't move the main plot or one of the subplots forward. Because of the number of words I am trying to cut, I have also been very critical with scenes that don't significantly move a plot or subplot forward.

The first two steps brought me down to about 115,000 words in two weeks and turned my brain into a stressed out ball of mush. No problem. Just squish it back together and keep going. I do believe that a lot of the cutting I have done has improved the novel (with the possible exception of cutting the one viewpoint).

What's next?

A spreadsheet of course! I love spreadsheets. This particular spreadsheet is quite simple. It has four columns: Chapter, Word Count, VPC (Viewpoint Character), and Notes (what happens to make the chapter important).

Chapter	Word count	VPC	Notes
1	1,273	Myac	Yiloch imprisoned - intro Myac's plans and Emperor Rylan.
2	2,753	Indigo	Intro to Indigo and first encounter with Yiloch.

This gave me a quick, high-level view of what I might still attack. I am currently targeting chapters that have much higher than average word counts and chapters with scenes I think can still be tightened or perhaps cut completely. As of this morning, I am down to 110,419. So very close, but still so far.

Maybe when I’m done I’ll post a few of my better deleted scenes for fun. J

Happy writing!

The Query for Torment

I thought I would try a little something different today.  Below is the pitch portion of the current query letter for my novel, Torment (sans the bio and publishing credentials).  For context, it is book one of a fully written alternate world romantic fantasy trilogy.  I rewrote the letter after the PNWA conference helped me see what the original was missing.  I believe this version gives a better feel for what the book is about and manages to slip in a little more information about what the protaganist is up against.  Comments/suggestions are welcome. 
Thanks for visiting!
 
The Query:
 
In Caithin, only two types of people are allowed to use the magical energy called ascard, trained healers and the elite Ascard Watchmen who use ascard to find and arrest anyone else caught using it.

Indigo’s ascard ability has forced her into training as a healer and her family’s tarnished reputation has driven her into a hasty engagement with an abusive young nobleman.  She feels like a prisoner in her life until she encounters Yiloch, a prince and adept from a neighboring country who is trying to seize the throne from his tyrannical father.  Although her race looks down upon his people as slaves, she finds inspiration in his beauty and determination.  Yiloch helps her discover the true potential of her ascard ability and encourages her to delve into those forbidden other uses.  Going against her upbringing, she finds a mentor for her ability and, when she is able, joins Yiloch in his war, but the emperor and his powerful adept, Myac, won’t make it easy.  Are her need to prove herself and her growing love for the prince enough to justify using her power as a weapon?  Can she find in herself the strength to influence the outcome of a war and take control of her life?

The Writer's Conference: A Few Days Later

In follow up to my last entry, here is a summary of my experience at the PNWA writer’s conference.

The Attendees:

I met many great people, all aspiring to the same goal of sharing their writing with the world.  I met people writing poetry, legal and political thrillers, varied fantasy and science fiction sub-genres, young adult novels, and so much more.  Despite our varied interests, we all had a great deal in common and I think I learned a lot from my fellow attendees.  I also came away with some interesting character sketches from the many people watching opportunities and a few contacts with whom I hope to stay in touch.

The Sessions:

It is always interesting to listen to what people inside the industry have to say.  There were successful authors, agents, and editors running most of the sessions.  It was great when they validated my own research with many of their tips and recommendations, and even better when they offered new insight into things I didn’t know as much about.  The How to Write a Synopsis and Query Letter session with author Bob Dugoni was incredibly valuable for me.  He broke down the elements of both in such a way that I had a new letter and synopsis mostly written by the end of the session.  That was just one of many excellent learning opportunities.

The Pitching:

This was a very good experience for me.  I was extremely nervous about doing this, but I went to a Clarion West party with a friend who is attending this year and got an opportunity to speak with Ellen Datlow there.  She was very nice and I enjoyed talking to her.  That conversation really helped me relax, as did the editor and agent forums the next morning which helped me look at these wonderful people as people I might be lucky enough to get to know and not big scary entities who could make or break my career.

I managed to get five agents and an editor to request some portion of my work, which felt fabulous since I was figuring I might get three of them if I was lucky (though I did learn that there is a time to pitch and a time to give these people a break – be sure to respect that if you go to this kind of event).  I also realized that I need to tighten the book up before I send it.

Some of the sessions helped me come up with ideas for things I could cut and I am already down 7,000 words since Sunday.  The pitching also helped me find the holes in my query and synopsis.  The pitch and query both failed to show what is unique about my trilogy and I now have some good ideas for bringing that out.

Other:

The industry is in a state of change and I found it fascinating to listen to the differing opinions the many agents, editors, and writers had about how it was going to go.  With eBooks and self-publishing rising in popularity, things will continue to change at a remarkable rate for some time.  Many of the speakers seemed to feel that traditional publishing would remain, but that there were now new ways to get there.  For example, several commented that successful sales with self-publishing are becoming an alternate way to get the attention of agents and publishing houses.  I don't plan to go that route at this point, but who knows how I will feel in the future.

I would love to see at least some of my work in print.  I hate killing trees, but there is something magical about a printed book.  That said, there is a whole new generation of kids reading books electronically who may never understand that view and there is nothing at all wrong with that.  In fact, if you asked the trees, they'd probably be happy about that change.

Things I'd Do Differently:

I think not staying at the hotel was a mistake (though it was a financial decision).  On one hand, I did a lot of pitch practicing and came up with a new book idea on the hour drive to the conference.  On the other hand, I decided when to leave based on how tired I was going to be driving home, which meant I didn’t hang around as long as I might have in the evenings and missed the dessert reception Thursday night and the literary contest awards at the end of the dinner on Saturday.  I also could not talk myself into driving back down for the half-day session on Sunday.

I would probably also get my book into the literary contest.  I wasn't paying attention and the deadline just skimmed by this year.  I've been wrapped up in my writing and editing work, but I think the contest would have been a good opportunity to get more feedback on that work.

Wrap-up:

That’s it.  I enjoyed the conference.  I learned a lot.  I met great people.  I have a small leg up on the competition with my next six submissions.  I also have a lot of work to do to get those submissions ready, but I will take the time needed and do it right.  All told, I think it was a great thing for me and I recommend it to anyone who hopes to get their writing out into the world.  Your mileage may vary.

Wrapping my head around the writer's conference.

So here I sit, trying to prepare for the four-day writer’s conference that starts tomorrow.  I just got back from a road trip to attend to varied family matters last night after midnight.  This is my one day to get my head around the sessions I want to attend and to make sure I know what I am doing for my agent/editor pitching sessions.

  Why am I writing a blog entry?

  That’s easy.  I have four books in varied stages of editing, four more books waiting impatiently to be written, the characters vying for my devoted attention to their story, and a few short stories dangling off the end of the stack wishing those books would get out of the way and give them their chance at the blank page on the computer.  Aside from that, I have piles of laundry from the six days of the road trip heaped in the laundry room, I need groceries, and my house looks like a hurricane swept through.  In those moments, sometimes the only way to get my head back on straight is to analyze the situation through my preferred medium, writing.

  Laundry, house cleaning, and groceries will simply have to wait (who needs to eat anyway?).  My many characters and their compelling demands for my time must also wait.  I adore them.  I want to give them all of my attention all of the time, but the conference is another tool to help me with that and I must give it my everything right now.

  I’ve never done in-person pitching to agents and editors before.  I hope it will, at worst, be a great learning experience.  My game plan for the afternoon is to research the ones I will be meeting with so that I have a true understanding of what they have represented and skim through their blogs if they have them to get a little deeper insight.  Then I am going to take a long, critical look at what I have for a pitch.  I need to understand what makes the novel I am pitching stand out and how to communicate that to these people.  Interestingly, the last agent I sent my submission packet to has not rejected it yet, which adds a little complication if someone at the conference shows interest, but I’m willing to deal with that if it becomes an issue.

  And there it is, in black and white.  The reason I wrote this.  I now have a game plan, which is more than I had before.  Now I need to (reluctantly) turn off my music and focus on that plan.  Maybe Monday, when this is all over, I’ll post again and let you know how it went.

  Happy writing!

A Writer's Doubt

I just finished reading one of many encouraging articles about writers dealing with a crisis of faith in following their dream.  Am I wasting my time?  Should I stop writing and find a real career?  Am I being selfish by following my dream?

Given how easy it is to find this same topic on every web site and in every book about writing, it must be a common problem.  Sometimes it seems like that alone, the simple realization that almost every writer goes through those periods of crisis, should make it better.  To know you aren't the only one and that most writers who have succeeded in their writing careers have gone through this should be comforting.  It isn't.  Why?  Because somewhere in the back of our minds we understand that every writer who didn't make it went through it too.  We know that suffering through those moments of self-doubt isn't any guarantee that the struggle is going to be worth it in the end.

I count myself lucky in many ways.  My family, my husband, and many of my friends stand behind me in my pursuit of a career as a fiction author.  In fact, they are my best fans and, in many cases, my most reliable reviewers.  I don't think all writers are that fortunate and I hope they all realize how important they are to me because of that.

My struggles come in two forms.  The first is a deep fear of letting down those wonderful people who have been supporting me while I chase my dream. I don’t have a good solution for that other than to try not to let them down.  The other is a sense of the opportunity I am turning away.  I have made more than $50 an hour as a technical writer.  That kind of money is not easy to walk away from, especially considering that, if I do really well, I might scrape together a living wage as a fiction author.  The problem is that, no matter how good I am at it or how much I make doing it, I am never happy doing technical writing.  There is no satisfaction in it for me.  I feel like a caged bird.  Worse yet, at the end of a day of technical writing, the last thing I am up for is yet more writing, but I am not happy when I am not creating stories.  It is a downward spiral for me.

What to do?

Well, the downswing in the economy has helped me with that question.  When I found myself jobless in a now extremely competitive environment, my husband and I talked and decided that I should take the opportunity to focus on my writing.  So that is what I do every day now.  I treat this like my job.  I set goals and personal deadlines.  I work hard at it.  I believe I can make it happen.  I does me no good not to believe.
I've had my moments of success.  I've sold a few stories and have one that has just barely missed the cut twice.  To be honest, I hate writing short stories.  My passion is for longer work.  I am running a fantasy trilogy through its fourth edit while I send out submission packets for book one of the three.  I am almost ready to submit a novella to publishers and I am editing a fourth unrelated novel that I believe has great potential.  I have about seven more novels in various states of completion or planning waiting in the wings.  I also have a few short stories seeking publication because I do, occasionally, write one that has some promise.  And those wonderful supporters of mine, they are helping me polish my work.  I love them for it (and for a few other reasons).  :)

I guess what I am saying is, this is my job.  A lot of people think I am good at it, but the final word on that is in the hands of agents and publishers I don’t know.  Regardless, I take it very seriously and I think that is important.

Not everyone who wants to be an author is going succeed, but if you are willing to put out the effort, are willing to research and try to master your craft, if you can stomach all those rejection letters that stand between you and your dream, then I think you are at least giving yourself a fighting chance.  If you really, really want it, then search out those opportunities in your life, find the people who will support you and nurture them.  Give yourself a chance and take it seriously.