How Not To Be a Successful Author: Cats

This post is the first of several aimed not at telling you how to be an author, but rather at providing insight into many things that might impede you along your journey. Since this is the first, I thought I would cover one of the most potentially career-limiting choices a large number of us have already fallen victim too. That is, the choice to share our lives with cats. 898

Cats loathe productivity, especially when it interferes with petting and food.

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They’re fearless in the face of great evils because they are the greatest.

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Some advanced models now come with deceptive markings designed to convince you of their good intentions.

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They specialize in sleep deprivation tactics.

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Cats are precision instruments, designed to distract you from your work. You can’t fight them. They know your weaknesses. If you want to be successful, avoid these creatures at all cost. Sadly, it may be too late for me. I've seen them plotting.

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Happy writing!